I'm Not That Girl
by KieraAntigone
Summary: OneShot Songfic. Jude wants to be with Tommy, but not all dreams come true.


_Author's Note_

The lyrics are important to the story. Please read them. The song is called "I'm Not That Girl" from the musical Wicked.

Disclaimer: I do not own: Instant Star, Jude, Tommy, Sadie, "I'm Not That Girl", or the Beatles.

Read, Enjoy, Review, and go see Wicked!

* * *

Jude sat in the studio with Tommy, strumming, her, no their, latest song. It was getting late, but they continued to work this song until it reached perfection. "No, no no," Tommy interrupted while she was singing the chorus. He reached over and adjusted her hands on the guitar. She might have been imagining it, but she swore that there was a bolt of electricity when they're hands met.

She began to play again. "Much better." Tommy responded. He hummed along with Jude, throwing in new lyrics here and there. Soon, he started making up random lyrics, and mocking Jude's song.

She stopped playing way before Tommy noticed. "Her hair is red, she likes to sleep in bed all day. Her name is Jude Harrison, and she dreams of being one of the Beatles.." he kept singing before she reached over and threw a pen at him.

"Ouch, what was that for?" He asked innocently enough. She stared at him, lost in his blue eyes. She shook her head, and came out of her trance. "For not being nice. It's hard enough working on a song without having someone messing with the lyrics, Quincy."

_Hands Touch, Eyes Meet_

_Sudden Silence, Sudden Heat_

_Hearts leap in a giddy whirl_

_He could be that boy_

_But I'm not that girl_

For weeks they worked on song after song, striving to obtain flawlessness with each one. Late nights in the studio were not an uncommon thing. Often Georgia would have to leave Tommy with the keys to lock up. Every night, Jude would get the same speech from her mom about priorities and how her future was "undetermined and still open to endless possibilities."

It was those late nights that made Jude love Tommy even more. The way he slowly shook his head when he didn't like the sound of the song, or the way he tried to hide yawn as midnight turned into early morning.

Jude sat in the sound booth, listening to her lastest recording of their new single. It was raw, fresh off her fingertips, but it was good. "An instant hit," Tommy said, waking Jude up from her sleep deprived daze.

"What makes you so sure? Last time you said that, Eden's single crushed mine." Tommy shook his head at Jude's endless self-criticism. "It's all in the lyrics. 'I'm In Love With My Guitar', the lyrics couldn't reach the audience. These do. And they hit hard."

_Don't dream too far_

_Don't lose sight of who you are_

_Don't remember that rush of joy_

_He could be that boy_

_I'm not that girl _

Jude tried to sleep. Every night it was the same thing. She'd lie in bed, wiped from "one last mixing session" even though there would always be one more. She'd close her eyes, and wait for sleep to come. And wait. And wait. And wait.

Most nights she saw Tommy. He managed to keep her awake even when he wasn't there. Usually her insomniac fantasies involved him taking her to some far away place and them living there and growing old together. She'd find her self slowly falling asleep, but just she was about to lose conscientiousness, she return to reality. She'd get up to look in a mirror, and all she would see was a very tired, over worked red head.

Jude's cell phone rang. She jumped. Who in the world was calling her at two in the morning? She flipped her phone open. "Hello?" she answered groggily. "Hey Jude." the person on the other line responded. "Nice, Sadie. Could you be any more original?" Sadie laughed in the background.

"I just called to tell you that I'm gonna be out later with Tom than I thought." Jude rolled her eyes. "Out later than two? I wasn't even expecting you to come home. Have fun." With that, Jude hung up the phone and fell onto her bed, landing in yet another of her fantasies.

_Ev'ry so often, we long to steal_

_To the land of what-might-have-been_

_But that doesn't soften the ache we feel_

_When reality sets back in_

The next morning, Jude walked downstairs to see her sister passed out on the couch. Evidently, she never made it upstairs, since she was still in her nice date clothes. Sadie and Tom had been dating for a month now. Jude still hadn't got used to it.

Jude sat down in the love seat, and turned on the TV. "Hmm? Oh, Hi Jude." Sadie greeted her little sister. "Morning Sadie." Jude turned her attention back to the television show she was watching. Her sister closed her eyes, and went back to sleep.

After fifteen minutes of nothing on TV, Jude switched it off. She walked over to the pantry and grabbed a bowl of cereal. Sadie rolled over in her sleep and fell off the couch. Jude stifled a laugh. "Nice, Sades."

Sadie mumbled something incoherently, and threw herself back onto her makeshift bed. "For someone whose won every dance competition possible, she has a terrible since of balance." Jude thought to herself.

At the thought of her sister's many accomplishments, Jude looked up at the mantle. It was covered with various trophies and awards. She could easily spot the dance and karate trophies, and could read the school awards for "best student" and "nicest helper". Once, Jude made her own, and put it up there. It read, "perkiest perky-upper". It was supposed to be like the happiest picker-up, but her parents didn't find it funny when Sadie found it and started crying. Even at ten, she was remarkably sensitive. To herself, not others.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb_

_She who's winsome, she wins him_

_Gold hair with a gentle curl_

_That's the girl he chose_

_And heaven knows_

_I'm not that girl_

Jude arrived at the studio unusually early that day. Partly because she was eager to get recording and finish this single, but mostly because she couldn't wait to see Tommy. Sure, she saw him everyday, but he looked more and more handsome each time she looked at him.

"Morning, Georgia!" She greeted her boss. Georgia nodded in her direction, and continued giving EJ orders for the day. Jude turned into studio A, and surveyed the empty room. She could just picture all the moments she and Tommy shared there. Him telling her that he wasn't sure if he was going to produce her next album, her recording "Pick Up The Pieces" with him and the rest of BoyzAttack.

Her favorite moment was when they were alone one morning, everyone else had gone on a trip to Starbucks. She sat down, and touched the cheek he had kissed. He had shown his moment of weakness, and Jude kept trying to get him to relive it, to show her his true feelings. But being the stubborn, closed-off Tommy, he hadn't since then. "And probably never will." she thought.

"Wow, you're here early." Tommy leaned on the door way. "Tommy! You scared me half to death!" He laughed and took a seat next to Jude. She started flipping through some old demo's laying on the soundboard. "Cosmo Death, that sounds pleasant." she remarked sarcastically. "Yeah, they were definitely more of a downer. Never made it past Georgia because of their 'pessimistic views of the universe in general.'"

They spent the rest of the day recording, then editing the song. At last it was declared perfect. Tommy grabbed the cd, put it in a case and handed it to Jude. "You never cease to amaze me girl."

Suddenly, the two of them were very close. Jude leaned in, closing the gap between them with her lips. Tommy responded for a second, then pulled away immediately. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand, and looked at Jude sadly. "Damnit," she said, "I screwed up again, didn't I?" When Tommy didn't respond, she grabbed her bag and left the studio. Tommy looked over at the soundboard and noticed she'd left her copy of the single.

_Don't wish, don't start_

_Wishing only wounds the heart_

_I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl_

Jude sat on her front porch, looking up at the stars. As the tears fell down her cheeks, she wondered what she did to deserve this. To have an amazing guy for her producer, who's amazingly hot, and yet still untouchable, no matter how many hours they spent together.

She closed her eyes and laid her head on her knees. She started sobbing quietly when she heard the all too familiar sound of tires screeching around the corner. She looked up to see Tommy's blue viper heading towards her house. She quickly wiped her eyes, and stood up.

Tommy parked his car, and walked up to Jude hesitantly. He wasn't sure what he was going to say, he just hoped he didn't make a total ass of himself. "Hey girl."

"Hey Tommy." Jude replied, not making any eye contact with him whatsoever. They sat there in the silence for a few minutes before Jude started up the conversation. "So, why'd you come to see me? I mean, after I made the stupidest mistake of my life. Again."

"Jude, about what happened in the studio. We can't do that. I'm with Sadie now. I like her. A lot." Jude just shook her head, and let out a sarcastic laugh. "Yeah, Tommy. As if we ever could do that. You're always telling me no. Just once I'd like to hear you say something positive."

"Something positive," Tommy pondered out loud. He reached into his jacket pocket. "Here. It's your single. You left it at the studio. It's amazing. Just listen to it. As I've told you before. You're it girl, you're the real thing. Even better. The best." Tommy walked away, and got into his car, and sped off.

Jude looked up into the sky. "Yeah, but I'm not that girl." She whispered to herself.

_There's a girl I know_

_He loves her so_

_I'm not that girl_


End file.
